I'm getting married today

Yesterday I went to see my waxer. Lately, I've been making appointments with my regular waxer's sister, because our schedules align better. The appointments are equally entertaining.

Today, when Lisa found out I was getting married, she began a short monologue:

"This girl came here once. She was married for 2 months. She ask me, 'How long you have been married?' I say, '29 years.' She say, 'And you don't want to kill him?'"

Prolonged laughter--from Lisa.

"2 months!"

"29 years!" I said.

"That was four years ago," she said. "Now it's 33 years."

"And you still don't want to kill him?" I asked, just to check.

"No!" she said.

Silence as we both thought about that. I was thinking how nice it was. And then...

"I want to sell him," she confessed. "If someone says to me, I will give you this [mimed money changing hands], I will say 'Take him'!"

So, ok. Not a murderer, just a businesswoman.