Rather than start this post with my list of excuses for why I haven't blogged (family in town, baby books to read, thank you cards to write, walls to stare at), I will just tell you that I still have this odd experience at least a few times a day where I realize I'm pregnant. It's as though I can go through many hours (or even 15-minute increments) where I just...forget. And then I'll see myself in the mirror, or I'll try unsuccessfully to put on socks without sitting down, and it floods through me again, this feeling that "oh my god, there's really a baby in there." And what I'm trying to keep from happening is the next thought, which goes "oh my god, there's a baby in there and some day she's going to be 4 years old, and 9 years old, and 17 years old..." You get the point. There's really no need to rush this, but I just can't believe that this person is coming soon--in roughly 10 weeks--to change my life forever.
So that's been fun and interesting, and is helping me grasp the fact that I do really need to read those baby books (because that part earlier about how I've been reading them is kind of a lie. But I do have them here, so that seems to be a good start.) In fact, I'm mostly focused on the birth itself at this point, and on how I hope it will go, and who will be there with me: Rob, a doula who is yet to be selected, a doctor/midwife (or both), and the random people who will be gawking at me from the door, as I have chosen to give birth in a teaching hospital.
I suspect I won't even notice the people at the door, but the other members of the birth team are pretty important to me. This weekend I was explaining to our visiting family members what a doula is, because--despite the widespread use of doulas as birth attendants--I think for some people it's a pretty foreign concept. To their credit, these people did not act as though I was saying anything silly, and the conversation turned yet again when my brother-in-law said, in all seriousness, "I've also been hearing a lot about tofu. How exactly do you buy that?" Please note, I am not making fun of him. He was just curious.
There's a lot to learn and do, and I would have to be crazy to say that I know everything I will need to know in 10 weeks, or a year, or 17 years. But I plan to take it one step at a time, continue to face my daily surprises, and not be afraid to ask questions. "I've also been hearing a lot about the birth orgasm. How exactly do I get one of those?"
Jack is TWO!
3 years ago