All in the family

We had a serious family weekend here in NYC, including Rob's sister, her husband, their two kids, and 3 other families that they were traveling with. On Thursday night, when Rob was conveniently on a "business trip" to California, I met up with the whole gang for dinner. I had, in what I thought was hyperbole, told a friend I was having dinner that night with 15 people. It was, in fact, 20. And that is no exaggeration. There were 11 adults and 9 children. I honestly didn't know there were places in New York that could fit that kind of crowd. But there are and, in case you're curious, they're all in Times Square. Where relaxation goes to die.

Rob returned on Friday and after a smaller dinner (a mere 7 people), we brought his niece and nephew (ages 14 and 13) back to our place for a sleepover. They were both falling asleep around 12:15am during an episode of Heroes, but as soon as I turned the TV off and sent them to bed, they somehow discovered their second (or fifteenth?) winds and for the next half hour we listened to their hysterical giggles, screeches of "Jade just sharted!" and calls for "Uncle Robbie" to come and mediate their disputes.

Jade and Grant are unusually tall kids. At 14, Jade is 5'11". Grant is 6 feet. I so love to take pictures with them. Jade says they look like monsters next to me, but I think they are tall and beautiful and I am just the undersized human hovering near their armpits.

The funny thing about their height, though, is that it makes people treat them as though they are much older than they are. Jade got a caricature drawn of her on the street while she was here and the guy drew her in a small, tight, short black dress with huge boobs and her hand on her ass. The kid wears braces. Hello. Get her hand off her ass and put a t-shirt on her (which, incidentally, is what she was actually wearing.)

Today at lunch Jade asked why New York is called the Big Apple. Rob said he thought it had something to do with a brothel run by a woman named Eve. The kids both looked kind of confused, so I asked it they knew what a brothel was.

"Um, like a fight?" Jade asked.

"I think it's a meeting," said Grant.

Their dad turned to Rob. "Go ahead, Uncle Robbie. Explain this one."

Rob fumbled around, describing what a Madame did, before finally using the word "whorehouse." It was a bonding moment, I think.