Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Things You Should Know


There are a few things in my life that I hold as static truths. I have examples.

ONE: If you work at Baskin Robbins and you think it's a good idea to mix all the ice creams and all the toppings together to make one large shake...you're wrong.

TWO: Stuffing all of your junk into a drawer or nearby closet will only make it go away for a little while.

THREE: Vincent Van Gogh, he of the Starry Starry Night, cut off his ear in a deep depression over his artistic and personal failures. Learned this one in art class when I was 6.

You know, obvious things.

Yet today, my truths have been rocked, in at least one way. According to the BBC, my constant source of important world news (as well as an excellent fount of knowledge on the sexual habits of people in other countries), Vincent Van Gogh's ear was in fact cut off by his "friend" and fellow artist Paul Gauguin outside a brothel in 1888.

Here's the thing: the authors of the new book on this subject say it's not clear whether or not this was in an argument or an accident. Because, you know, if you're an avid fencer and you're waving your epee around outside a brothel one night, someone could lose an ear. But it was all just for fun, whoa, how did that happen? Which brings me to Truth number

FOUR: You should always keep your sword sheathed at a brothel.

2 comments:

Joe said...

Maybe brothels should post signs to that effect. You know, to avoid confusion.

RC said...

I think brothels already have those signs up. And, did I catch a reference to Don McLean in there?