Wednesday, July 25, 2007

You better cry, chicken boys

The Tour de France is stunning. It's stunning how beautiful the route is, through adorable small towns and past lush green hills, with amazing views from rocky cliffs. It's stunning how difficult it is and how the athletes can push their way through it, especially when they each weigh 3 1/2 lbs. And it's stunning how these guys are such huge cheaters and think they can get away with it.
Basically, if you're watching it for anything but the view, I'm not really sure what you're getting out of it. Michael Rasmussen (who is called Skeletor in my house), aside from being one of the most disturbing looking men alive, blatantly flouted the rules of testing and disappeared during training. He's been kicked out of the race and fired from his team. Good. I hope he goes somewhere and eats a sandwich or something and thinks about what a loser he is. Alexander Vinokourov was found with someone else's blood in his system. What? First of all, that's apparently the easiest thing to test for and second of all, gross. The extra blood, by the way, increases the amount of red blood cells in the body, which means more oxygen and better athletic performance. Because of this, his entire team had to bow out of the race. If I was one of the guys who wasn't doping, I would kick his ass. Several times.
But I'm guessing most of them are doping, because it seems to be the norm for the sport. At least some of them aren't getting away with it.
More on Vinokourov
More on Skeletor


Daniel said...

At what point do you think they will just rename this competition the Tour de Farce?

Joe said...

I'm thinking of trying blood doping for my 55 and over baseball league. I'm afraid, though, that I may cut myself and start bleeding openly on the field. Someone trying to help me would notice I was bleeding in two different colors and say, "Hey, what are you trying to pull?"
It wouldn't be the first time paranoia has kept me from cheating.

Amanda said...

Sarah: my husband and your dad need to co-host some kind of funny-man sports talk show. Though Joe may need to rename himself "Joe Handey" after today's comment.

Sarah said...

I love it! If only there were something--anything!--funny about the Michael Vick scandal, we could unleash them on that. As it is, I'm feeling very sick of athletes lately. Except, of course, for the over 55 baseball crowd.

Care said...

I'm enjoying this blog, sweet niece. But I need another Internet distraction like I need a hole in my head.

I was thinking about you just the other day, wondering if I could get a peek at that first novel. I really do enjoy your writing!

Hey..."unleash them on that."...I like it! Do you do this on purpose, or are quality puns a part of your natural writing style?!

Tell your Dad I'm happy to know that he feels paranoid before cheating...I always feel it afterward.

Sarah said...

Ah, you noticed, Care. I wondered if that pun was in bad taste...but that's never really stopped me from doing anything. Thanks for reading!