Relax, I'm on a lunch break

I wish that someone would pay me to sit here and blog. Obviously, that would suck for you guys, since I’m not that interesting, but sometimes it seems like I might be better suited to anonymous judgment as opposed to what I really get paid for which is Client Services (yes, I know, it sounds like I work in an illicit massage parlor.) Other things I think I could do well for money:

-read books (this could be a viable option, if I was also interested in reviewing them. I’m not. See Book Cannibal for your review needs.)
-charm your parents (but of course I would do this for free)
-delete spam and stare at the wall (not that this would be fun, but we can’t run away from our inherent skills)
-shop (kind of defeats the purpose, no?)

Anyway. For now, I will sit here eating pretzels and attempt to get closer to my real dream job: sleeping in and then grabbing a book and going for coffee. If my parents' lives are any indication, what I am truly striving for is retirement.