Let me put it this way

If anyone finds part of the newspaper in Scout's diaper in the next few days, I'm not going to be all that surprised.

Make that three

Out for a drive with Rob and Scout:

Me (to Scout): I love you so much. I feel so full--I am in the car with two people I am completely in love with.

Rob: Scout and yourself?

Just Like Her Mother

Rob [hugging me]: You're short.

[Brief Pause]

Rob: Poor Scout.

Me: Why?

Rob: She's going to be a munchkin with an attitude problem.

Partners

Watching The Best of Youth the other night after Scout went to bed:

Me (moved by a plot line about a father raising his daughter alone): Can you imagine raising Scout without me?

Rob (without looking away from the television): Yep.

Sleep

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. ~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis

Sometimes in the middle of the night, Scout's crying seamlessly finds a place in my dreams, so that Rob has to nudge me gently to say the baby's up, and I say, I know I know, I was just working on waking. Other times, I am up throughout the night, checking the clock, checking the baby monitor, ready for her noises to start. These, of course, are the nights that she chooses to sleep through, and I am too wired to take advantage. I'm being trained, apparently, to be a piece of toast. I don't think I could sleep 8 hours if I tried.

Instead of watching another episode of Glee...

It seems time to post to Deepish Thoughts once again. Actually, it seemed time to do that about...oh, every day for the past 4 months, but I've been a little bit busy with, you know, things.

Rob and I have now lived in San Francisco for almost 9 months--a gestation period--so our final verdict on this round of West Coast living should be delivered pretty soon. I am truly happy being here, especially now that we have welcomed a fat baby into our lives and can explore the city and surroundings with her. On her schedule. At her disposal. The other day we were walking down the street, Scout in the Ergo Baby Carrier, me skipping around trying to get her comfortable, holding her hands so they didn't get chilly, and singing some ridiculous song to distract her from the fact that she was basically trapped, once again. If I'd had some grapes I would have fed them to her while I gave her a back massage. She is so clearly in charge of this family.

Rob has been biking regularly, working up to getting in shape for the Marin Century, which is a 100-mile bike ride taking place in August. Encouraged by this, I have decided to train to be able to run 3 miles without collapsing or peeing in my pants. We'll see how it goes.

Scout is in training to continue resembling Robert Duvall, as she has lost most of her hair in what looks exactly like male pattern baldness. So we're all pretty busy.

The three of us had a speaking engagement last night, wherein we addressed a group of pregnant women and their partners at a childbirth class. We told them Scout's birth story and I think avoided terrifying them too much, mostly because I had asked Rob in advance to please not use the word "excruciating."

I don't want to overdo it on my first post in a while, and I hear Scout singing in her room, where she is supposed to be napping but apparently did not get that memo.

Practice

Last week, I was on the phone with a friend who has a toddler. For good reason, she often spells words she doesn't want her daughter repeating. Example from our conversation:

Friend: There was lots of drama.

Friend's baby in background: Drama! Drama!

Friend: It was total C-R-A-P.

Friend's baby: Want more water.

So, it works, you see. I've decided to practice this method of parenting, but since Scout is too young to repeat anything, I'm going to do it in a slightly different way. Example from a potential future conversation:

Friend: The guy was a total P-R-I-C-K.

Me: Yeah, that fucking sucks, R-I-G-H-T?

I think it will be good to get a head start on this.

Deepish Scout

Motivated by Ellie and The Emerson Show, I'm starting a blog for Scout: The Scarlett Letters. As the name suggests, it will eventually be a blog written to Scout from her mama, but for now will just be photos since her mama's brain is operating at a reduced capacity.

I hope this isn't the end of Deepish Thoughts, but until I start having some thoughts, we'll probably be on hiatus.

Our little man

Everyone thinks Scout is a boy. Normally it's not people who know her, but people we see on the street and in stores. "He's so cute!" they say, and I just say thank you because I'm not really in the business of gender education. But it's become clear to me that you have to cover your daughter in pink if people are to recognize her for the dainty, feminine being that she is.

I had Scout dressed in an orange Moby wrap and a green hat one day, and a cream onesie another day. Apparently, this screams BOY. Even to Rob. The other night when she was crying, he said, "What's this about? We don't cry here, Mister." So, you see, the clothes can really fool you, even if you're her DAD.

Scout's first bath

Scout takes a bath



And is eaten by a frog



She has taken several baths since this first one, and now cries only when we take her out of the water.

As if she will never eat again

Scout is occasionally convinced that she is a wild animal and must fight for her food. At these times, she uses a variety of kung fu moves that she perfected in the womb to chop and scratch at her food source: me. We call her the Ferocious Beast. In fact, she usually ends up dominating only her own wrist, which has thus far not produced milk. We then have to take several breaks before she calms down enough to realize she's really more like a farm animal than a wild animal.

She still spends most of her time asleep, probably dreaming of the hunt.

Scarlett Joan Goulding has arrived!

Scarlett actually arrived last Tuesday, March 23rd at 4:33am, but I've been a little busy since then. It feels funny to type her full name, since we're calling her Scout and it seems to fit her perfectly. She is a little replica of Rob, so another nickname is Roblett. She is thus far a champion among babies--a good eater, a sound sleeper, and a very sweet observer of everything that goes on around her.

The labor was intense, and I won't get into details here, lest I frighten anyone. Suffice it to say it was all well worth it, and we stuck to our birth plan, with much help from our incredible doula, Angelika (below, holding Scout in her lady bug blanket.) The plan was to have the baby with no interventions (induction, pain medication, serious talk about rehab, etc), and oh my god it hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced in my life. I think Rob is probably still traumatized from watching me go through it, but he did an amazing job of helping to keep me calm and focused. And now we have our beautiful baby girl, and we are completely content just staring at her all day long.