Monday, August 6, 2007

The Magic and Mess of the Movies

Yesterday Rob and I went to see The Bourne Ultimatum. We got to the theater on time, found a seat in the middle of a row (no chance of getting out to get water or use the bathroom without disrupting 15 people) and settled into our smelly, sticky seats. We then watched 7 previews that I truly believe were all for the same movie. 2 featured Meryl Streep, 2 starred Russell Crowe, all had a battle/terrorism/war theme and all featured gunfights or explosions. The male and female leads were mostly interchangeable. 18 minutes later, the previews were over and nothing stuck out as worth seeing. Or rather, all seemed interesting enough, but nothing stuck out as unique. And the titles…In the Valley of Elah? Lions to Lambs?* Wow, catchy.
It’s not a pleasant experience to go to the theater. I would much rather be at home watching a movie, being able to pause or rewind, and not having to deal with the conversations taking place next to me. And a question for the people who clap in the middle of the movie after the end of a scene: are you under the impression that the actors are actually in the room with us? Who are you clapping for? Stop it.
The movie was good, but the only thing making the experience remotely worthwhile was the size of the screen and I’m just not sure that’s worthwhile enough. I think I can wait until the DVD release of that new movie starring Meryl/Reese/Susan/Charlize/Tom/Jamie/Denzel/Jake/Christian/Russell…and then I can fast forward through the previews, too.

*I only know the names of these lame-sounding movies because of a furious bout of note taking during the previews. Otherwise, the whole pre-Bourne experience would by now surely have melted into a big shiny celebrity puddle in my brain.


Daniel said...

We saw The Simpsons Movie over the weekend. Quite funny. "There are two things they don't teach you at Harvard Business School: How to cope with defeat and how to use a shotgun. I'm about to do both."

Joe said...

We have here the curious anamoly of someone who has become jaded by the 21st century movie-going experience and yet TAKES NOTES DURING THE PREVIEWS!
I assume you will go back to the theater to relive what an unsatisfying experience it is.

Sarah said...

I'm going to give it a few more tries so that I can write a truly informed scathing review.