Today I want to talk about Clarence Thomas

Since February 2006, the number of words spoken by Clarence Thomas during Supreme Court oral arguments was 132. The number spoken by Samuel Alito, who is the second-dumbest (I mean that in the true sense of the word, really) judge on the court was 14,404. In more than a year and a half.
There have been a few theories as to why Thomas doesn’t speak up: he learned listening skills as a young man when his dialect was mocked in school or he prefers more cerebral conversation and the quick back-and-forth of the court doesn’t suit him. Obviously it’s neither of these. He’s worried about what might come out of his mouth if he opens it; referring to Long Dong Silver when addressing a prosecutor probably wouldn’t go over well.
Meanwhile, Chief Justice John Roberts has had two seizures in the past week and has been diagnosed as an epileptic. This is really unrelated to my wanting to talk about Clarence Thomas, but since we’re on the subject of the Supreme Court…