Last night a cheese plate saved my life. Maybe.

I met a friend for drinks last night at a wine bar in Chelsea. We drank wine, ate food, and caught up on all that had happened since we saw each other last. I think it's safe to say we were buzzed when we left the bar. There's only so much a wedge of brie can do to combat the effects of three glasses of wine. But apparently, that cheese could have staved off disaster. Read on for a sordid tale that I think we can agree could have happened to anyone:

A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up...

At home, Mr Lyalin had some sausage from the fridge and lay down to sleep, the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper says.

After a couple of hours, his wife noticed the handle sticking out of his back and called an ambulance.

Yes, you read that right. This man was out with a friend, had a little too much to drink and not enough to eat (hence late-night sausage out of the fridge. Have we not all been there?) And what happened? He was stabbed.

The moral of the story, people, is bar snacks. Eat them. You can never be too careful when you're out with a crazy drunk.