I have thought extensively about taking Rob's name when we get married. I have written it on napkins and post-its, said it out loud, carved it into wet cement late at night when no one was looking, scrambling away when I heard the police sirens rounding the corner, so fearful was I that they would find out where I had hidden the drug money...wait, movie. But I did recently write it several times on a post-it.
Here's the thing. It looks like someone else's name. And I guess that's the point. We're embarking on this new life together, a new family. But how come I have to change my entire name when all Rob has to change is his habits, his bedtime, and his diet?
Some time ago, shortly after we got engaged, I polled 5 of my unmarried girlfriends to get their take on the issue. I asked them if they would change their names and if it would be an easy decision, one requiring some thought, or one requiring a lot of thought.
Considering this obviously representative sample (of women between the ages of 25-31 with whom I have gotten drunk more than ten times), I was surprised by the unanimity of the responses.
Friend one: will change name, requires some thought
Friend two: will change name, easy decision
Friend three: will probably change name, amount of thought depends on what the name is (Friend three is still a bit traumatized after dating a guy with the last name Dworkbinder.)
Friend four: will change name, easy decision
Friend five: still owes me an answer and this was at least 7 months ago. Dude.
For me, it took a great deal of thought, but ultimately I have decided not to change my name. And Rob has decided not to change his habits. We're both happy.
Jack is TWO!
3 years ago